Month: February 2019

What is it Like Wearing Hijab

Before delving into this topic, one must understand every Muslim woman will answer the question, “What is it like wearing hijab?” differently. Muslim women are certainly not monolithic, and people’s experiences vary greatly due to a number of factors including location, age, background, and much more.

That being said, this is my experience wearing the hijab. A twenty-something year-old, born and raised in New Jersey who never called any other place besides the United States her home.

I love wearing hijab. It is a part of me. It provides a comfort, a protection, and a uniqueness. I am very aware of my hijab when going out. Even while walking to my car, I notice who is around and how I am dressed very differently than most. I cannot help but wonder what they think about my choice of dress.

I often wonder if they realize I can speak English, that I am a university graduate, and a writer. I wonder if they realize my hijab is my choice, that I am happy, that I love wearing it even though I have my fair share of “bad hijab days” when the fabric just does not sit on my head properly and leaves me frustrated. No matter how lopsided it might look one day due to my glasses or lack of pins, I will wear it even just to take the garbage out a few steps away from my door.

I never felt like my hijab put me in any danger. I have been fortunate in that sense. I know it announces to everyone I am Muslim, but honestly, I am not comfortable with hiding that fact anyway. I like to demonstrate the opposite of what people see in the media about Muslim women through my actions, whether that is smiling at the cashier, holding the door open for a passerby, or picking up some litter on the street. I hope when I do have the opportunity to do these actions, people see my hijab and attribute something positive to all Muslims. That is the same reason I will try to avoid honking my car horn unnecessarily or cutting someone off.

What is especially great is to see another person in hijab where you do not expect. Bumping into someone who looks like you during a random outing at the mall or walk around the neighborhood brings a warm and fuzzy feeling to my heart. That may sound odd to some people, but as a minority, it feels amazing to simply see another person and knowing without even exchanging a word that you have something in common with them. And not merely something, but the most important thing—your faith. It is easy to exchange a smile and a greeting of peace and leaving that place feeling a sense of sisterhood.

While hijab is a part of me, it is not all of me. There is still a lot to learn about an individual wearing a hijab beyond the cloth on her head. The hijab tells you I am Muslim, and that is the biggest part of my identity for sure. But it does not tell you everything about my hobbies, passions, favorite foods, or what my family and friends are like.

There is much more to being a Muslim woman than wearing hijab. The best way to learn about the experience is to ask someone who wears one. So maybe I am the first person who is sharing insight with you on the topic, but I guarantee you there are many more willing to share their stories as well.

Source: whyislam.org

How to be Closer to Allah

It should be the desire of every Muslim to draw nearer and closer to Almighty Allah the most compassionate and the most merciful. By drawing closer and near to Allah we gain his help in every aspect of our lives in this world and to be merciful to us so that we may gain mercy in the hereafter in order to enter Jannah in the next world.

When we call upon him he would answer our calls and when we ask of him for anything he would give it to us and when we draw nearer to him then our sincerity and intentions will enable us to become closer to him.

So we should strive to draw nearer to Allah, the Glorified the Exalted, who is the majesty of honour and generosity and the giver of peace, the most high and the most honoured.

So what can we do to draw closer to him? The following are 10 steps for us to draw closer to our Almighty Allah:

1. Fulfilling obligatory duties and abstaining from prohibited matters

The Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) has guided us. And Allah, the Glorified and the Exalted, has guided us how to draw near to Him. As He said According to Hadith Qudsi:

“Whoever draws near to Me among those drawn near by fulfilling what I have made obligatory on them….

You do not draw near to Allah except by fulfilling the obligatory duties which Allah has made obligatory on you; (that is) the obligatory duties from the obligatory duties (Faraid) such as Prayers, and Zakat (obligatory charity), and Hajj, and Fasting and being good to Parents and all these obligatory duties on you draw you near to Allah, the Glorified and the Exalted. And the faraid (obligatory duties) are the first things that draw you near to Allah. You do not reach the door of nearness nor do you reach to the presence of nearness except by fulfilling the obligatory duties. This is the first thing that draws you near to Allah, the Glorified and the Exalted, and you are in His Presence.

So the first thing we need to do is fulfil ALL of our obligatory duties and abstain from that which Allah and his messenger have forbidden us from.

2. Nawafil prayers (superogatory prayers)

Allah says in Hadith Qudsi:

….and My slave keeps on coming closer to Me through performing Nawafil (voluntary deeds) until I love him, so I become his sense of hearing with which he hears, and his sense of sight with which he sees, and his hand with which he grips, and his leg with which he walks; and if he asks Me, I will give him, and if he asks My Protection, I will protect him…” [Bukhari]

A Source of Elevation for you

The Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam) said: “Ask (anything).” Rabi’ah said: “I ask of you to be your companion in paradise.” The Prophet said: “Anything else?” Rabi’ah said: “That is it.” The Prophet (sallAllahu alayhi wasallam) said to him: “Then help me by making many prostrations (i.e., supererogatory prayers).” [Muslim]

Tahajjud

Allah Most High said, “Establish worship at the going down of the sun until the dark of the night, and (the recital of) the Qur’an at dawn. Lo! (the recital of) the Qur’an at dawn is ever witnessed. And some part of the night awake for its recital, as voluntary worship for you. It may be that your Lord will raise you to a praised estate.” [Qur’an, 17: 78-79]

Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) reports that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace be upon him, his family, and companions) said, “The best prayer after the obligatory prayers is the night prayer.” [Muslim]

Abu Umama al-Bahili (Allah be pleased with him) reports that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace be upon him, his family, and companions) said, “Hold fast to night prayer, for it was the way of the righteous before you, a way of drawing closer to your Lord, an expiation for wrong deeds, and a shield from sin.” [Tirmidhi, and others] In some narrations, there is an addition, “And it repels sickness from the body.”

And because night vigil time is the best of times for voluntary worship and prayer, and the closest a servant is to his Lord.

So let us make the habit of reading as many Nawafil prayers as we can for more prayers means more prostrations and one is truly the closest to Allah in prostration.

….bow down in prostration and bring yourself the closer (to Allah).” (96:19)

3. Zikr (remembrance of Allah) and glorification of Allah

“…Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.” (13:28)

Remembrance of Allah indeed is the greatest virtue.(29:46).

O ye who believe, remember Allah much. And glorify Him morning and evening (33:42-43)

Remembrance of Allah is the foundation of all good deeds. Whoever succeeds in it is blessed with the close friendship of Allah. That is why the Prophet, peace be upon him, used to make remembrance of Allah at all times. When a man complained, “The laws of Islam are too heavy for me, so tell me something that I can easily follow,” the Prophet told him, “Let your tongue be always busy with the remembrance of Allah.” [Ahmad].

Remembrance of Allah the best of deeds

The Prophet, peace be upon him, would often tell his Companions, “Shall I tell you about the best of deeds, the most pure in the sight of your Lord, about the one that is of the highest order and is far better for you than spending gold and silver, even better for you than meeting your enemies in the battlefield where you strike at their necks and they at yours?” The Companions replied, “Yes, O Messenger of Allah!” The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “Remembrance of Allah.” (Tirmidhi,Ahmad)

Abu Musa Al-Ash`ari (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said, “The similitude of one who remembers his Rubb and one who does not remember Him, is like that of the living and the dead.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Zikr can be done anywhere and anytime

A person may ask, ‘How can we do Zikr all the time whilst we have so many things to do in life such as we go to work, feed the family, pay bills, etc.? Well, the answer to this is that, firstly, it is the Sunnah of Allah’s Messenger to work and feed the family which is rewarded by Allah and, secondly, that when a person is working or at school or wherever a person may be this does not mean that he should stop remembering Allah while he is working, while he is serving his customers or while he is programming his computer.

In fact the heart of the believer should be attached to Allah’s remembrance throughout his day to day activities such that he protects himself from falling in love with the materials and temptations of this world and that his love for Allah and his Messenger becomes stronger and stronger as time goes by. When a person begins to remember Allah all the time it is then that he becomes conscious of his actions.

Remember: in a place where people are oblivious to dhikir, remembrance of Allah is like being steadfast in jihad, when others are running away. (Targhib, p. 193, vol. 3 ref. Bazar and Tibrani)

“… And the men and the women who remember Allah much with their hearts and tongues. Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and a great reward (i.e., Jannah).” (33:35)

4. Calling upon Allah in Dua (supplication)

Allah the most compassionate says in the Holy Quran, “Call on Me. I will answer your prayer, but those who are too arrogant to serve me will surely find themselves humiliated in Hell” (40:60).

Allah the Exalted, has said: “And your Lord says: Pray unto me: and I will hear your prayer” (Quran 40:60),

“Call upon your Lord Humbly and in secret” (Quran 7:55),

“When My servants question thee concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them): I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calleth on Me” (Quran 2:186),

“Is not He (best) who listens to the (soul) distressed when it calls on Him, and who relieves its suffering.” (Quran 27:62)

Dua’s are never wasted

Aisha radhiallaahu anha said, “No believer makes Dua and it is wasted. Either it is granted here in this world or deposited for him in the Hereafter as long as he does not get frustrated.”

Allah’s anger at those who don’t make dua

In fact, it is even wrong to never make Dua, “Whosoever does not supplicate to Allah, He will be angry with Him.” [Saheeh Jaami`as-Sagheer #2414]

Dua is a weapon for the believers

Rasullullah is reported to have said, “Dua is the weapon of a Muslim”.

Dua for ones brother in his absence

“The supplication that gets the quickest answer is the one made by one Muslim for another in his absence.” [Abu Daw’ud and Tirmidhi]

So let us build a close relationship with Allah by making much dua to him. He loves it when his slave calls upon him and it angers him if his slave does not call upn him.

Let us have full hope that our dua’s will be accepted and if you think they won’t they know Allah is keeping the rewards for you in the hereafter and those rewards are so great that one would wish that none of there duas were excepted in this world just so that one can gain all the rewards for their duas in the next world.

5. Building a close relationship with the Qur’an

Recite the Holy Qur’aan as much as we can for It will come as an intercessor for its reciter’ on the Day of Judgement [Muslim]
Learn the Qur’an and recite it, because the example of one who learns the Qur’an, reads it and recites it in Tahajjud is like an open bag full of musk whose fragrance permeates the entire place. And the person who has learnt the Qur’an but sleeps while the Qur’an is in the heart is like a bag full of musk but with its mouth closed.

Virtues of reciting the Qur’an

“Whoever reads a letter from the Book of Allah will receive a hasanah (good deed) from it (i.e. his recitation), and the hasanah is multiplied by ten. I do not say that Alif-Laam-Meem is (considered as) a letter, rather Alif is a letter, Laam is a letter, and Meem is a letter.” [At-Tirmidhi, Ad-Darimi]

“There is no envy (acceptable) except in two (cases): a person whom Allah has given the Qur’an and recites it throughout the night and throughout the day. And a person whom Allah has given wealth, that he gives out throughout the night and throghout the day.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

It was narrated that Abdullah ibn Mas’ud said: Whoever reads Tabarakallahi Biyadihil Mulk [i.e. Surah al-Mulk] every night, Allah will protect him from the torment of the grave. At the time of the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) we used to call it al-mani’ah (that which protects). In the Book of Allah it is a surah which, whoever recites it every night has done very well. (an-Nasa’i)

Abdullah Ibn ‘Abbas and Anas Ibn Malik (Ra) reported that the Prophet (Peace be upon him) said, ‘Whoever recited Surah Zilzilah (99) would get the reward of reciting half the Qur’an. Whoever recited Surah al Kaafirun (109) would get a reward as if reading a quarter of the Qur’an. Whoever recited Surah al Ikhlas (112) would get a reward as if reading one third of the Qur’an’. (At-Tirmidhi 2818/A)

Reading, understanding and implementing the Qur’an in our daily lives

The virtues of reciting the Qur’an are too numerous to list. In order to get closer to Allah we need to recite the Qur’an, understand it and implement it in our daily lives.

We should make a target of reading at least a chapter a day. If one can’t manage that then at least half a chapter. If one still can’t manage that then recite at least quarter of a chapter or even a page a day. However much we can manage we should try to recite each day with its meanings and implement what we learn into our daily lives.

Reading a little each day is better than reciting a lot once in a while. We should build a close relationship with the Qur’an which is in fact building a close relationship with Allah!

“Verily Allah raises nations by this book (the Qur’an) and puts down (i.e. destroys) others by it.” [Muslim]

6. Keeping good company

One of the most important things we must do, which sadly many people neglect, is that we should avoid bad company. People we should avoid taking as friends those who speak too freely, who miss Salah, who do not dress modestly, who backbite, slander etc.

The company of such people is poison; just even sitting and talking with them will lead one to commit sins. Just as a person who sits for a long time with a perfume seller begins to smell nice, and a person who sits by a gutter cleaner begins to smell awful, similarly a person who spends time in the company of the wicked eventually gets affected badly by them.

Rather, we should seek out pious friends who fear Allah taala and who have the qualities of humility, charity, compassion, modesty and knowledge. If we sit with them we will always benefit and they will be a means for us to get closer to Allah taala!

The Prophet (saws) said, “The case of the good companion and the bad companion is like that of the seller of musk and the blower of the bellows (iron-smith). As for the seller of musk, he will either give you some of the musk, or you will purchase some from him, or at least you will come away having experienced its good smell. Whereas the blower of the bellows will either burn your clothing, or at least you will come away having experienced its repugnant smell.” [Al-Bukhaaree and Muslim]

Remember: “All friends will be enemies of one another on that Day (Day of Judgment) except those of the virtuous.” (al-Qur’an 43:67)

7. Having fear and hope in Allah

Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people. (Surah Yusuf 12:87)

One must be hopeful of Allahs mercy and forgiveness and fearful of His punishment. It is this fear that should lead one to seek Allahs forgiveness with hope. Allah says:

Know that Allah is severe in punishment and that Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. (Surat al-Maaidah 5:98)

In the above verse, Allah gives us reason to fear because His punishment is justly severe, as well as good reason to have hope, since He is the Most Forgiving and Merciful. There should be a balance between fear and hope and not too much or too less of one or the other.

We should always remain between fear and hope. For, the right and the approved kind of fear is that which acts as a barrier between the slave and the things forbidden by Allah. But, if fear is excessive, then the possibility is that the man will fall into despair and pessimism.

On the other hand the approved state of optimism is of a man who does good in the light of the Shari’ah and is hopeful of being rewarded for it. Or, conversely, if a man committed a sin, he repents sincerely, and is hopeful of being forgiven. Allah (swt) said:

“Verily, those who believed, and those who migrated and fought in the way of Allah, it is they who are hopeful of Allah’s mercy. And Allah is very Forgiving, very Merciful.” (Al-Baqarah, 218)

In contrast, if a man indulges in sins and excesses, but is hopeful that he would be forgiven without doing anything good, then, this is self-deception, mere illusion and false hope. Abu ‘All Rowzbari has said, “Fear and hope are like the two wings of a bird. If they are well balanced, the flight will be well balanced. But, If one is stunted, the Right would also be stunted. And, to be sure, if the two are lost, the bird will soon be in the throes of death.” Allah has praised the people of hope and fear in the following verse:

‘Is one who worships devotedly during the night, prostrating himself or standing, fearing the Hereafter, and hoping for the mercy of his Lord (is equal to him who doesn’t do these things)?’ (Al Zumar, 9)

Hope then also demands fear. If that was not the case, one would be in a state of false security. Conversely, fear demands hope. Without that it would be despair.

Fear and hope, both should be equally proportioned in our hearts, in our worship, and in our dua to Allah. Allah says:

Call out to Him with fear and hope. (Surat al-Araaf 7:56)
They forsake their beds to call their Lord in fear and hope. (Surat as-Sajdah 32:16)

8. Voluntary fasting for the pleasure of Allah

Fasting in general and voluntary fasting in particular is a great worship. Fasting is not restricted to Ramadhan, but it is an act of worship that can be [and should be in some cases] performed at any time and at any place except when not recommended. Indeed, it is a worship that draws the believer closer to Allah and closer to perfection.

Fasting Mondays and Thursdays:

`Aa’ishah said: The Messenger of Allah, salla Allahu alaihi wa salam, used to fast Mondays and Thursdays”. [An-Nasaa’i; Sahih]

Abu Hurairah reported that the most the Prophet, salla Allahu alaihi wa salam, would fast would be Monday and Thursday. He was asked about that and he said: “The deeds of people are presented to Allah on every Monday and Thursday. Allah forgives every Muslim except for those who are deserting each other. He says: “leave them for later.” [Ahmad; Hasan]

Intention for voluntary fasting

As opposed to Ramadan, the intention does not have to be made before dawn. The person can intend fasting [and start fasting] after dawn any time [even after noon] given that he did not eat anything. `Aa’ishah said : The Prophet, salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, came to us one day and said, “Do you have any [food]?” We said “No”. He said: Therefore, I am Fasting”. [Muslim and Abu Dawood]

Fasting three days of every month(White days):

Abu Tharr Al-Ghefari said: “The Messenger of Allah, salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam, said “O Abu Tharr! if you fast three days of every month, then fast the 13th, the 14th and the 15th [these are call the al-ayaam al-beedh, the white days]”. [Ahmad, an-Nasaa’i and at-Tirmithi; Sahih]

“Fasting and the Qur’an will intercede for the slave on the Day of Resurrection. Fasting will say: ‘O My Rabb! I prevented him from food and desires, so accept my intercession for him.’ And the Qur’an will say: ‘I prevented him from sleep during the night, so accept my intercession for him.’ He (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said: ‘And they will (be allowed to) intercede.’” [Ahmad, at-Tabarani, Al-Hakim, Sahih]

So let us get closer to Allah by fasting Mondays and Thursdays or at least 3 days every month on the 14th,15th and 16th. If we leave something for the pleasure of Allah then we will get MUCH greater in return!

9. Sincerely repenting to Allah

Allah says: O son of Adam, if your sins were to reach the clouds of the sky and you would then seek My forgiveness, I would forgive you.

When a person sins and then sincerely turns to Allah for forgiveness, one will find Allah ready to accept his repentance and to forgive him, as this verse indicates:

And whoever does a wrong or wrongs himself, but then seeks forgiveness from Allah, he will find Allah forgiving and merciful. (Surat an-Nisaa 4:110)

Everyone commits sin and does wrong, but Allah is always willing to forgive and He always gives them a chance to repent and seek His forgiveness. A believer should never forget the fact that Allah is so forgiving. If Allah had willed, He could have held everyone accountable for his or her sins, but He has decreed that He shall allow His servants to seek His forgiveness and that He shall in fact forgive who and what He wills. In fact, Allah commands that His servants seek His forgiveness:

And seek Allahs forgiveness. Certainly, Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.
(Surat al-Muzzammil 73:20)

Repentance is an act, which purifies the soul and brings the servant closer to Allah. It puts the heart at rest from guilt. It protects one from falling prey to his desires and lusts and increases his faith.

We must ask ourselves this question: Would we be willing to forgive anyone who hurts us and disobeys us constantly as easily as Allah is Able to forgive? Most probably, the answer would be no. But our Creator is the Most Kind and He is the Most Perfect.

Lo! Allah is a Lord of Kindness to mankind, but most of mankind give not thanks. (Surat al-Baqarah 2:143)

In this Hadithi Qudsi, mankind is encouraged to seek Allahs forgiveness and repent, but there are five conditions of repentance, which must be met for ones repentance to be accepted. The first and most important is that the act of repentance be sincerely for Allah alone. Secondly, the person must feel remorse and guilt over his actions so much so that he wished he had never done it in the first place. The third condition is that the person must immediately cease performing the wrong and sinful act. Fourthly, the repentant person must have a firm intention to never commit the sin again. And lastly, the person must repent before it is too late, meaning before death approaches.

However, there is a condition. One must not associate any partners with Allah, which is shirk. And Allah does not forgive shirk and if one dies without believing in Allah alone as ones Creator, then he will be doomed to the Hellfire for all of eternity. So, Allah emphasizes the importance of calling on Him alone. He has no and needs no partners, associates, wives, children, etc. There is no god, but Allah. None forgives sins except Him, so one who is seeking forgiveness should seek it only from Allah.

Allahs forgiveness and mercy is far greater and vaster than the sins of the creation. One must always have trust and hope in Allah in both good times and bad times and especially when seeking Allahs forgiveness. And the believer who calls out to his Lord for forgiveness demonstrates his true weakness and that he is totally dependent on the Creator.

When one confesses his sins to Allah and sincerely repents with hope in Allahs mercy, the heart should come to peace and the soul should feel rest. When a person has hope, he has no reason to despair because it only leads to destruction. Allah gives hope to all, especially those who despair that there is no reason to despair because Allah is the Most Merciful of all those who show mercy. Allah praises those who repent and turn to Him:

And those who, when they commit a lewd act or wrong themselves with evil, remember Allah and ask forgiveness for their sins and who forgives sins except Allah? And they do not persist in what (wrong) they were doing while they knew it. For such, the reward is forgiveness from their Lord and Gardens with rivers flowing through, wherein they shall abide forever. How excellent is the reward of the doers (of good)! (Surah Ali Imran 3:135-136)

10. Having good manners, character and being humble

Many of us think that “a perfect Muslim” is simply one who is correct in the observance of the salah (ritual Prayer), the fasting, the zakah (payment of a certain portion of one’s wealth to the poor), and the Hajj (pilgrimage to Makkah). This indeed is not the case.

If the ritual observances do not help the person to be humble, virtuous and truly God-fearing, then he or she is not a real Muslim. A Muslim should be good and just in dealing with others, no matter their religion, and take special care to keep away from all the shameful and sinful things Allah (God) has forbidden.

One can never get close to Allah by being arrogant, full of pride and having a bad character and manners. Those who have humility and are humble and have good character and manners are the closest to Allah and Allah raises their ranks in the hereafter.

The superiority of good character:

Hadrat Abu Darda, may Allah be pleased with him, relates that the Holy Prophet Muhammad, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said, “Nothing is heavier in the scales of a believer on the Day of Judgement than his good behaviour. Allah detests a person who is obscene and shameless”. (Tirmidhi)

Having humility and being humble:

The Prophet (PBUH) said: “He who was humble for the sake of God by one degree, God (SWT) would then elevate them to a degree till they reach the uppermost of high Orders, and he who was arrogant to God (SWT), God (SWT) would then lower him for a degree till he reaches the lowest of low Orders”, (Narrated by: Muslim (Hadeeth: 6535).
Al-Nawawi said: 

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “And no one humbles himself before Allaah but Allaah will raise him (in status).”

Humbleness is to know the value of oneself, to avoid pride, or disregarding the truth and underestimating people. As the Prophet sallallahu `alaihi wa sallam said, according to Muslim and others, “Al-Kibr is rejecting the truth and looking down upon people” [Muslim, Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud].

Humbleness is for one who is important and significant and he fears to gain notoriety or to become too great among people. Humbleness is that one should humble himself with his companions.

Humbleness is to humble oneself to one who is below you. If you find someone who is younger than you, or of less importance than you, you should not despise him, because he might have a better heart than you, or be less sinful, or closer to Allah than you. Even if you see a sinful person and you are righteous, do not act in arrogance towards him, and thank Allah that He saved you from the tribulation that He put him through. Remember that there might be some riyaa’ or vanity in your righteous deeds that may cause them to be of no avail, and that this sinful person may be regretful and fearful concerning his bad deeds, and this may be the cause of forgiveness of his sins.

Humbleness is that your deed should not become too great in your eyes. If you do a good deed, or attempt to get closer to Allah ta`ala through an act of obedience, your deed may still not be accepted, “Allah only accepts from those who have taqwa (fear of Allah).” (Surat al-Maida: 27)

Humbleness is that, when you are advised, if Shaytaan calls you to reject the advice, you must negate him. Because the purpose of advice is that your brother points out the defects that you have.

The arrogant never gives credit to anybody or mentions good about someone, and if he needed to do so, he would also mention five defects of that person. But if he hears somebody reminding him about his own defects, he will not be flexible nor comply due to his inferiority complex. This is why it is among man’s moral integrity to accept criticism or comment without any sensitivity or discomfort or feelings of shame and weakness.

We can summarize the teachings of Islam about the Muslim character in the following list:

Be truthful in everything, don’t lie.
Be sincere and straightforward, don’t be hypocritical.
Be honest, don’t be corrupt.
Be humble, don’t be boastful.
Be moderate, don’t be excessive.
Be reserved, don’t be garrulous.
Be soft-spoken, don’t be loud.
Be refined and gentle in speech, don’t curse and use foul language.
Be loving and solicitous to others, don’t be unmindful of them.
Be considerate and compassionate, don’t be harsh.
Be polite and respectful to people, don’t be insulting or disrespectful.
Be generous and charitable, don’t be selfish and miserly.
Be good natured and forgiving, don’t be bitter and resentful.
Share and be content with what Allah has given you, don’t be greedy.
Be cheerful and pleasant, don’t be irritable and morose.
Be chaste and pure, don’t be lustful.
Be alert and aware of the world around you, don’t be absent-minded.
Be dignified and decent, don’t be graceless.
Be optimistic and hopeful, don’t be cynical or pessimistic.
Be confident and have deep faith, don’t be doubtful and wavering.
Be spiritually oriented and not materialistic.
Be confident of the mercy of Allah, don’t be despairing and lose heart.
Be diligent and vigilant of your duties, don’t be negligent.
Be thankful to Allah and constantly pray to Him, don’t be forgetful of His innumerable blessings.

Finally as the righteous say, “The love of Allah is the axis around which all good revolves.” If you fall in love with Allah, and then strive to be true in your love–in accordance with the way of the Beloved of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), then you’ll find nothing but increasing light and contentment in your life.

And Allah alone gives success.

Culled from missionofislam.com

Pillars of Islam

There are five pillars of practice in Islam. These practices must be undertaken with the best of effort in order to be considered someone that has truly submitted himself to God Almighty. These pillars of practice relate directly to our fundamentals of faith and effect our character and conduct:

1: Shahada – Testifying that God Almighty is one.

Testifying that God Almighty is one, without spouse, son, or partner and that Muhammad (Peace and Blessing Be Upon Him) is the last Prophet & Messenger of God Almighty. This testimony pronounced to become a Muslim, and is repeated several times a day in prayers and devotions as an affirmation of God’s oneness and a confirmation of faith.

2: Salat – Formal prayer five times a day.

By praying five times a day, one actively submits his will to God Almighty and devotes his mind, body, and soul to his worship. Formal prayer is both preventative and prescriptive; it serves as a reminder to avoid evil deeds and helps to expiate the effects of any sin committed throughout the day.

3: Sawm –Fasting during the month of Ramadan.

During Ramadan, Muslims fast each day from dawn to dusk by refraining from food, drinks and sensual pleasures. These outward actions have an effect on the inward, reminding believers that instead of being dependent on corporeal stimuli, they must rely on God Almighty alone. Abstaining from food & drink serves another purpose, that is to remind the believer of his duty to those less fortunate amongst fellow man, and that with God’s bounties comes responsibility to our brothers and sisters in humanity.

4: Zakat – Alms to the Poor.

With the blessing of wealth comes responsibility to give back to those less fortunate. Zakat, the Arabic word for obligatory alms, is a purification of wealth and a method of redistributing wealth to those in need.

5: Hajj – Pilgrimage to Mecca at least once, if physically and financially able.

Pilgrimage to Mecca commemorates the rites of Abraham in devoting his life to God Almighty. It is the culmination of the previous four pillars of Islam, consisting of prayers, devotions, charity & sacrifice.

Articles of Faith (Aqeedah)

The following are the six articles of faith in Islam. These are the basic beliefs that one must have in order to be considered a true Muslim. They are:

  • Belief in God Almighty (Allah); that he is the Creator, Sustainer, and the only one that controls and holds dominion over all of creation. Belief in Allah requires recognizing that He is the only one worthy of our devotion, supplications, and worship.
  • Belief in all the Prophets of God; Adam, Noah (Nuh), Abraham (Ibrahim), Isaac (Ishaq), Jacob (Yaqub), Josep (Yusuf), Moses (Musa), Aaron (Harun), John the Baptist (Yahya), Jesus (Isa), and Muhammad (Peace and Blessing Upon Them All), as well as those not mentioned. We believe in all of them, recognize their mission, and follow them in their message of worshipping One God.
  • Belief in the original scriptures revealed by God Almighty to his Prophets; the Torah having been given to Moses, the Psalms to David, the Gospel to Jesus, and the Quran given to Muhammad (Peace and Blessing Upon Them All). All of these scriptures are recognized by Muslims as revelation. The Quran, God’s Almighty’s final revelation is a culmination of message of the previous scriptures; it is a standard by which we live by containing eternal guidance for the salvation of Mankind.
  • Belief in the angels; that they are the unseen servants of God Almighty’s, implementing his will and watching over mankind.
  • Belief in the Day of Judgment and the Hereafter; that all of mankind will be called to account for their deeds, and be righteously judged accordingly on the last day.
  • Belief in Divine design and decree; that God Almighty’s has knowledge of all things, has written all things, and all things he has willed must come to pass.

The Romantic Prophet – How to be romantic with your spouse

As the days come to closer to one’s marriage, excitement, ecstasy and elation pump through the bride and groom.  The build up to marriage is an experience of thrill and jubilation.  When the marriage is solemnized, one’s happiness and delight is on the verge of brimming and tipping over.  When the newlywed couple meet for the first time, words cannot describe the sweetness, bliss, serenity, pleasure and elation tasted by the two.

If every day of the marriage mirrors the first day of marriage, and every night reflects the first night of marriage, then marriage is a euphoric experience on this world.

The first couple of months are always a ‘honeymoon’.  Once the couple settle down, then reality begins.  Many couples fail at this point.  The husband gets engrossed in his job.  He comes home tired and late, feeling hungry and tired.  He demands for the food and feels lazy to do anything.  He eats, puts the dirty plates in the sink and lies down on the sofa.  He might awaken to perform salāh if he is conscious of salāh.  Otherwise, he wakes up later on towards the night, phones a few friends, watches TV and keeps ordering the wife to get him x and y.  When it is time to sleep, if the husband is in a good mood he will have relations with his wife-but only to satisfy his needs.  Once he is fulfilled, he stops and drops off to sleep.  Whether the wife is satisfied or not does not even cross his mind.  This becomes the routine of his life.

The wife on the other hand, she initially tries to please her husband.  She slowly loses her enthusiasm as she does not receive enough attention from her husband.  She cooks to please her husband.  She will put effort into her food.  She will try and perfect every detail in the food.  The presentation, ingredients and spices are put meticulously so they complement each other.  After a while she tires from this as the husband does not compliment, instead he criticises her food.  As soon as the husband goes to work, she is on the phone to her associates.  She cooks, watches TV, cleans the house and enjoys her day before her husband comes home.  Once the husband comes, she becomes a slave again.

This style of marriage wherein there is no affection and no real emotion is heading towards destruction.

The husband needs to implement the romance the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam.  We consider Romeo to be romantic but not the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam.  If I was to say the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam was the most romantic individual, I would not be lying.  By looking attentively at the biography of the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam, you will find that he was the most romantic person to walk this Earth.

He is the best example for the ideal husband. He was comforting for his wives, wiping their tears, respecting their emotions, hearing their words, caring for their complaints, alleviating their sadness, going in picnics with them, racing with them, bearing their abandonment, discussing matters with them, keeping their dignity, supporting them in emergencies, declaring his love to them and was very happy with such love.

The husband and wife have to bond with one another psychologically, physically and spiritually. Here are some attractive examples and points we need to adopt to achieve a marriage of romance:

1) Know their feelings

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam once said to Sayyidah Aisha radiallahu anha : “I know well when you are pleased or angry with me. Aisha replied: How you know that? He said: When you are pleased with me you swear by saying “By the God of Mohammad” but when you are angry you swear by saying “By the God of Ibrahim”. She said: You are right, I don’t mention your name.”[1]

The husband and wife should be aware of each other’s feelings.  The husband should be able to gauge when his wife is upset or sad, likewise the wife should be able to read her husband’s behaviour.  By being conscious of one another’s feelings, it will help resolve any differences. When your spouse is down or upset, be there to console him/her.  Sit with them, speak with them, listen to them.  Try and make them smile.  If the husband is always conscious of his wife’s feelings, and the wife is always conscious of the husband’s feelings, then this will assist greatly in keeping the ‘flicker’ alight.

2) Console her

Sayyidah Safiyah radiallahu anha was on a journey with the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam.  She was late so the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam received her while she was crying. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam wiped her tears with his own hands and tried his utmost to calm her down. [2]

This is another feature a marriage must have.  Each spouse has to be there for the other in the good and bad times.  The wife should find comfort and solace in the husband and the husband should find warmth and love in his wife.  Be gentle with one another.

3) Laying in the wife’s lap

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would recline in the lap of our beloved mother Sayyidah Aisha radaillahu anha even in the state when she would be menstruating.  The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would recite the Qur῾ān whilst reclining in his wife’s lap.[3]

How many times have we rested in the lap of our spouse? These gestures may seem trivial but they are the acts which bring the hearts close.  The wife can sense and see the love of her husband for her in such actions.  Every so often come home and just go and rest in the lap of your wife.  She will appreciate this gesture greatly.

4) Combing the spouse’s hair:

Aisha radiallahu anha would comb the hair of the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam and wash his hair.

This is how close a couple has to be.  Love evolves and grows to such an extent that a spouse yearns to do everything for the other spouse even if it simply combing their hair.  To maintain a high intensity of love, do the little things for your spouse also.  Little acts have a huge psychological impact on the mind of the spouse.  Seldom comb their hair, take their clothes out to wear, bring them a cold drink on a hot day, prepare something for them etc.

5) Drinking and eating from one place:

Aisha radiallahu anha would drink from a cup.  The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would take this cup and search for the place where the lips of his beloved wife made contact.  Upon finding the place where his wife drank from the cup, he would put his lips on the very same place so that his lips have touched the place where her lips touched.  He would then drink the contents of the cup at the same time enjoying union with his spouse.  When there was meat to eat, Sayyidah Aisha radiallahu anha would take a bite.  The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would take the meat from her hand and again place his mouth the very same place where his wife ate from.  This would add taste of love to his food.[4]

Do things together with your wife.  Do not just eat at the same time and on the same tablecloth, but eat from the same plate.  Let alone the same plate, eat together from the same article of food.  This will bond the hearts so close to one another.  When everything your wife comes into contact with becomes more beloved to you than food itself, imagine the flame of love in your lives?

6) Kissing:

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would kiss his wife regularly.  Even when he salallahu alaihi wasallam would be fasting, he would kiss his wife.[5]

Compliment your spouse often with kisses.  When exiting the house, make it habit you leave by coming into contact with your spouse.  When returning home, along with saying salām to her, show that you have missed her dearly.

When she is working or busy in her household chores, surprise her with a kiss.  You have to show your love.  Love is the fuel of marriage; if you desire your marriage to progress, you have to express your love in every way you can.

Physical relations in a marriage are very important.  The famous saying is, “actions speak louder than words.”  Show your spouse you love her.  Sharī῾ah promotes romance and physical relations between the husband and wife.  The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam categorically stated,

Conjugal relations with your wife is a sadaqah.”[6]

6) Lifting the morsel to her mouth

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam said : If you spend an amount you will be rewarded for it, -even when you lift the morsel to your wife’s mouth.” [7]

The husband and wife should make these gentle gestures to exhibit their love and appreciation.  Feed your spouse with your own hands now and then.  This will rekindle the flame of love in your marriage.

7) Assisting her in the housework:

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would clean and help at home.  He would see to his needs himself rather than demanding his wife.  He would clean and see to his clothing himself.

Without being asked, if the couple help each other in day to day activities, it will make one appreciate the other.  Likewise, one should try his best not to demand his/her spouse to do things too much.  Whatever one can do himself, he should do.  We need to be considerate of the spouse.  The wife works tirelessly all day.  So if the husband was to be considerate and realise his wife works hard, this will touch the wife.  Likewise, if the wife was to go out of her way to see to the needs of her husband being considerate, it will induce a great spark of love between the two.

8 ) Telling her stories

Discuss stories and events with your spouse.  Engage in light hearted discussions with her-something to laugh and joke over.  The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam on many occasions would discuss stories, events and have light hearted discussions.  The famous story narrated by Sayyidah Aisha radiallahu anha regarding Umm Zar’ is evident.

This is one angle which is neglected more so than often.  It is all ‘business’ between the husband and wife.  They do not get into light hearted conversations.  Instead, the husband rings his friends and chuckles with them.  The wife on the other hand giggles during the day with her friends.  This should not be the case. Focus and divert all your amusement and entertainment at your spouse.  If you want to laugh, then let it be that you are laughing with your wife.

Make it a point in your busy schedule daily where you sit with your wife and do nothing but have fun with her.

9) Sharing happy occasions with her:

Once when the Ethiopians were practicing target shooting in the masjid complex, the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam stood with his wife watching.  Not only did the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam stand with his wife, he put his cloak around her.  The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam although he had other jobs to do, he stayed there standing with his wife.  He only went when his wife wanted to go.[8]

A husband should be one who shares happy occasions and experiences with his wife.  When it is raining, cold or sunny, one should shelter his wife.

You should be willing to sacrifice your errands to spend time with your wife.  When the spouse sees sacrifice for her sake, it will create immense love and respect in their heart.

10)Racing with his wife

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would exercise and play with his wife also.  The famous incident of the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam challenging his wife to race is well known.

When a couple can have such good times together, it only ignites the love even more.

11) Calling her by a beautiful name:

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would call his wife ‘Humairā’’ out of love.  Linguistically it means the little reddish one, but the scholars state that in reality it refers to someone who is so fair that due to the sun they get a reddish tan.  This was the reason why the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam called her Humairaa’.[9]

Call your spouse nice sweet names.  One has to show his partner love and affection in every little thing.  One needs to feed love constantly to his spouse to keep the flame burning.

Once the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam stared into his wife’s eyes.  He was gazing at the world within his wife’s eyes.  He then said to Sayyidah Aisha radiallahu anha in praise of her beauty,

“How white are your eyes.”[10]

This is what is needed.  The husband and wife should be constantly complementing and praising each other.  The husband has to show his love and attraction to his wife.  The wife needs to show her infatuation for her husband.  When there is a reciprocal relationship, the marriage climbs heights.

12)Dress for your spouse

Sayyiduna Ibn Abbās radiallahu anhu said: “As my wife adorns herself for me, I adorn myself for her. I do not want to take all of my rights from her so that she will not take all of her rights from me because Allah, the Exalted, stated the following: “And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them.” (Qur῾ān 2 :228.)[11]

This is another area where many spouses fail.  The wife only dresses when it is a special occasion.  The husband on the hand stays scruffy and does not take care to be neat and tidy.  If the couple want their everyday to be a special occasion like their wedding day, they must dress to impress!

The wife should wear the clothing which pleases her husband. Likewise, the husband should wear what the wife likes.  Every time the husband and wife glance at each other, the glance should arouse them and stir up more love for their spouse.  This will ignite the love in the heart.

13)Utilising perfume:

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam would have a container for perfume.  He would use perfume constantly.[12] One should make an effort to smell good for his wife all the time. Looking good, keeping clean, smelling nice compliments a relationship exceptionally.  Make sure you hair is tidy, your clothes are neat and you smell pleasant.  This will attract your spouse always and inject affection into the marriage.

14)Do not talk about her private matters:

The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam described the one who discloses his wife’s affairs to others as amongst the worst of people.[13]

Whatever occurs between yourself and your spouse should remain between you two.  How unmanly and shameful is it when a husband discusses his wife to his friends? The secrets and issues of the spouse must not be narrated at all to anyone.  Do not talk about your wife to others.  Your wife is for you.  You are for your wife.  Your fidelity and loyalty should always be to your spouse.

15) Loving & respecting their families

Another great factor to contribute to a healthy relationship is to love and cherish the family of your spouse.  The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam was once asked whom he loved the most.  He replied, “Aisha.”  When the questioner rephrased his question and asked from amongst the men, he replied, “Her father.”

The Prophet could have easily said Abu Bakr.  His answer displays such intelligence and ingenuity, that in one response he displayed his devotion to his wife and her family.  He exhibited his fondness for his in-laws.  Imagine how happy his wife Sayyidah Aisha would have become upon hearing this response?

Compliment your in laws in front of your wife.  Compliment your wife to her family.  Your wife will really appreciate this.

Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife’s mouth, opening the car’s door for her, etc.

Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala will always result in having more peace Sorce: darulfiqh.com